Let's be honest here - the dad's are often 'forgotten about' - simply because the main focus is on mum and the new bundle of joy..
And when it comes to breastfeeding this can make dad feel that bit more left out and questioning;
'How am I going to spend time with my baby if they are nursing all the time?'
'What can I do to support my partner while she is adapting to the new experience of breastfeeding?'
'Why can't I just give our baby a bottle of formula?'
As a Breastfeeding Specialist (who has dealt with many couples trying to navigate this scenario in those newborn days!) I want to give you and your partner peace of mind and reassurance, tips on what you can do to enhance the dad-baby bond and some general advices on the do's and don'ts when supporting your breastfeeding partner.
Remember! Feeding is only one aspect that falls under the caring for a baby umbrella and forming that special parent-baby bond
Topics covered in this blog;
Think about it - apart from breastfeeding - what other things on the extensive list of baby care are there that only a mum can do....? Still thinking?...
None. There are NO other aspects of bringing up a baby that only a mum can do!
And so rest assured there are SO many ways you can create and enhance that special dad-baby bond
A dad's mini guide to breastfeeding
Yes it's crazy that your partners breasts produce milk - yes it's crazy how big they get - yes it's crazy that your baby can be attached to them for hours!
The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends infants should be exclusively breastfed for atleast the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health.
Breastfeeding has health benefits for both mum and baby but it can take a while for both mum and baby to get into the swing of things and there may be some challenges along the way.
Milk production is all about supply and demand - the more your baby breastfeeds the more milk your partner will produce and once a healthy milk supply is established then you partner will be able to effectively meet the feeding needs of your baby.
'But why can't I give our baby a bottle of formula?'
Sometimes a dad may not fully understand the importance of breastfeeding to their partner and their desire to exclusively breastfeed and so I would strongly suggest talking about everything!
Note! When it comes to bottle feeding a breastfed baby it is advised to not introduce a bottle until your baby is at least 4 weeks old as a mum's milk supply is being established in baby's first 4+ weeks of life.
When introducing a bottle it really needs to be a joint decision;
Your partners milk supply still needs to be maintained if they wish to continue breastfeeding
The risk of breast refusal needs to be managed carefully when doing a combination of nursing and bottle feeding
Some parents may choose to introduce a bottle of breastmilk and some a bottle of formula
There are lots of factors when it comes to combination feeding but what is important is that you communicate your thoughts and feelings and ultimately are both happy and content with feeding decisions being made
If you want to then read more about breastfeeding in those newborn weeks then read my blog Breastfeeding | Does it get easier? When will it get easier?
Tips on creating and enhancing the dad-baby bond with breastfed baby
Skin-to-skin in the golden hour following the birth of your baby!
Skin-to-skin is not just for mum and baby, this is a great opportunity for dad's to get that special intimate moment and initial bonding time too.
And then once your little family is home and in your newborn bubble there are many baby care tasks dads can get involved in to deepen that dad-baby bonding time. These may be obvious but sometimes everyone just needs gentle reminders..
Changing baby's nappy
Getting baby dressed
Reading baby a book
Singing to baby / dancing with baby
Giving baby a bath
Taking baby for a walk in a carrier
Engaging in tummy time with baby
Burp baby following a feed
For more breastfeeding tips and information follow Maternal Mayhem on Instagram:
Do's and Don'ts when supporting your breastfeeding partner
It can often be overlooked just how crucial your support for your partner is when it comes to breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is a natural innate process but it can take time and practice to develop an established and comfortable breastfeeding experience and on this journey your partner may;
Lack confidence
Experience latching difficulties and pain when breastfeeding
Have concerns about their milk supply
Feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the demands of breastfeeding
Question stopping breastfeeding earlier than they want to
..amongst many other things!
I would kindly suggest the following Do's and Dont's..
Do's
Listen, listen, listen
Respect views on breastfeeding and bottle feeding
Research breastfeeding/feeding your baby to gain a greater understanding
Be honest and gently communicate
Help with any other baby care tasks or household chores
Suggest seeking help from a breastfeeding professional if you can see they are really struggling
Wherever you are in the world I offer Virtual Breastfeeding Consultations which you can book directly below;
Don'ts
Suggest introducing a bottle of formula if your partner is concerned about her milk supply
Tell your partner to stop breastfeeding when your partner is saying how hard breastfeeding is
Think you're not needed when your baby is breastfeeding - help get your partner comfortable before and during a breastfeed - just be there
Forget to tell your partner what an amazing job they are doing as a mum!
Finally
So how can your partner bond with your breastfed baby? Get involved with the mountain of other baby care necessities. There are NO other aspects of bringing up a baby - other than breastfeeding - that only a mum can do!
And so rest assured there are SO many ways you can create and enhance that special dad-baby bond.
Remember! Dad's are important too and sometimes trying to figure out fatherhood in silence - communication is key!
Do you want guidance and support with your breastfeeding journey? See my breastfeeding support below:
I am a Breastfeeding Specialist that offers a balanced approach to breastfeeding. When advising on breastfeeding the most important factors I take into consideration are that you are content and happy with how your baby is feeding, and your baby is thriving.
I offer both in-person consultations in Madrid, Spain and virtual consultations Worldwide; book a free 15minute assessment call to get you on the road to a comfortable and enjoyable breastfeeding experience!
A well-fed baby is a happier baby and a happier you!
Rebecca x
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